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Friday, December 8, 2023

How I saved my daughter from likely sexual abuse -Mother

In an incident that underscores the significance of safeguarding children’s well-being, a family faced a difficult decision when their daughter expressed discomfort towards a domestic staff they had just hired.

The mother, a sex therapist and coach, shared her story on her Twitter account @olawunmiesan, as a cautionary tale, urging parents to listen to their children and prioritize their safety and security.

According to her, she had just hired a domestic staff to assist with household responsibilities, providing much-needed relief for her as she had been facing significant stress related to these duties since the early days of her marriage.

The initial days of employment seemed promising until their daughter approached her with an unexpected revelation.

A few weeks into the domestic staff member’s role, the daughter confided in her mother, saying, “Mummy, I don’t want this person in our home. I don’t like this person.” The mother, taken aback by her daughter’s strong emotions, recognized that this was a critical red flag, considering the child’s usually amiable nature towards others.

Upon further inquiry by both parents, the daughter shared her specific concern, stating, “I noticed when I’m around this person alone, they call me Baby, but when other people are there, they call me by my name without adding Baby.”

The parents were impressed by their daughter’s attentiveness to behavioural patterns and her courage in raising the matter with them.

While the decision to let go of the domestic staff was challenging, the parents prioritized their child’s safety and security.

The mother admits that the position had been a major source of stress relief for her, making the resolution more demanding. Nonetheless, their parental duty to protect their child took precedence.

Sharing her experience, the mother highlights the unfortunate reality faced by many survivors of childhood sexual abuse who have shared their concerns with parents but haven’t been heard or believed.

She passionately advocates for parents to actively listen to their children and take their feelings and apprehensions seriously.

“Perhaps the decision was also hard for the parents, perhaps they didn’t understand the child’s complaint, but as parents, it is important to listen to our children,” she stated.

She urged parents to explore further when they don’t fully comprehend their child’s objections and, most importantly, take the necessary actions to ensure their child’s safety.

Also, she emphasized the crucial role of positive sexuality education, which empowers children to identify inappropriate behaviour and recognize potential threats to their safety.

In this particular case, the daughter’s perception of the domestic staff’s behaviour as predatory prompted her to express her unease to her parents.

As parents grapple with tough decisions, this family’s story serves as a poignant reminder of the significance of open communication and active listening between parents and children.

By fostering an environment where children feel safe to express their feelings and concerns, parents can work towards creating a protective haven for their beloved ones.

Christiana Alabi-Akande
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