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Friday, July 4, 2025

I earned my Senate seat through elections, not erections, Natasha tells Akpabio

The senator representing Kogi Central in the National Assembly, Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan, has written what she described as ‘satirical apology letter’ to Senate President Godswill Akpabio.

Natasha is currently under a six-month suspension following an open argument with Akpabio on the floor of the Senate over a sitting arrangements.

She had also accused Akpabio of highhandedness bordering on sexual harassment, an accusation that Akpabio has denied.

Posted via her verified Facebook page, the senator wrote:

SATIRICAL APOLOGY LETTER

From the Desk of Senator Natasha Akpoti Uduaghan

Dear Distinguished Senate President Godswill Akpabio,

It is with the deepest sarcasm and utmost theatrical regret that I tender this apology for the grievous crime of possessing dignity and self-respect in your most exalted presence. I have reflected extensively on my unforgivable failure to recognize that legislative success in certain quarters is apparently not earned through merit, but through the ancient art of compliance — of the very personal kind.

How remiss of me not to understand that my refusal to indulge your… “requests” was not merely a personal choice, but a constitutional violation of the unwritten laws of certain men’s entitlement. Truly, I must apologize for prioritizing competence over capitulation, vision over vanity, and the people’s mandate over private dinners behind closed doors.

I now realize the catastrophic consequences of my actions: legislation delayed, tempers flared, and the tragic bruising of egos so large they require their own postcodes. For this disruption to the natural order of “quid pro quo,” I bow my head in fictional shame.

Please find it in your magnanimous heart — somewhere buried deep beneath layers of entitlement — to forgive this stubborn woman who mistakenly believed that her seat in the Senate was earned through elections, not erections.

I remain,
Yours in eternal resistance,
Senator Natasha H Akpoti Uduaghan
Unafraid, Unbought, and Unbroken

Bridget Benson
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