Ọmụgwọ is currently trending on Twitter. Ọmụgwọ refers to the traditional practice of going to help a new, especially inexperienced, mother to navigate the new experience of childbirth.
During ọmụgwọ (an Igbo word which also has its nomenclature in other Nigerian languages and practices), the grandmother, which may be the mother of either the husband or the wife [or a close relation if both grandmothers are not availabe], helps in bathing the newborn, massaging the new mom, does housekeeping work, including cooking and [supervision of] the laundry.
When such grandmother is returning home, the couple usually show appreciation by loading her with gifts and cash. Ọmụgwọ is not usually a one-off thing, however.
Trouble, however, came on X [formerly Twitter] when someone complained that her mother in-law didn’t lift a finger to help her throughout her stay when she came for ọmụgwọ.
See the complaint:
And see the various reactions to the issue:
A woman’s mother is preferred. I can ask my mum to run me a bath or get me food and she would. Because she’s my mum, and understands I need help.
The same request might be seen as disrespectful to a MIL who isn’t open-minded or humble.
— Nwanyioma❤️🤝 (@jeygirlie) January 15, 2024
To be honest, what’s most important is love and kindness.
Tonality matters a lot when making requests and if you do with the right tones and respect, you should be able to ask your MIL to help with stuff like this. It’s not slavery, it’s just sacrifice borne out of love.— Abd Basit The Big Asset♥️ (@UnclebeeOla) January 15, 2024
By tradition and even common sense, the lady’s mother comes for omugwo, if she isn’t available, a female relative stands in her place ( an aunt, older cousin or sister)
A nursing mother needs physical, mental and emotional support. It’s not a time to build relationship with mil
— Shammy (@otutomnile) January 15, 2024
Tradition differs, what I know for Yoruba culture is that the husband’s mother comes first for omugwo duty.
— Abd Basit The Big Asset♥️ (@UnclebeeOla) January 15, 2024
Tradition differs, what I know for Yoruba culture is that the husband’s mother comes first for omugwo duty.
— Abd Basit The Big Asset♥️ (@UnclebeeOla) January 15, 2024
If you know you are too old or sophisticated to help your son’s wife during Omugwo, go there with Househelp that will help her!
— Emerald 💚 هداية (@Mz_Tosyn) January 15, 2024
During Ọmụgwọ, if it’s the bride’s mother or the groom’s mother who came, she’s there to work as a maid or servant.
Ọmụgwọ isn’t for her to go and eat, sleep or watch Zee World.
She is the maid in the house. Every chore is her responsibility.
Now, a good daughter-in-law… https://t.co/56vHCJiISD
— 𝐊𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐠 (@iamklausenburg) January 15, 2024
Omugwo doesn’t mean she’s there to come and do ọmọ ọdọ duties. She’s old already and she can only take care of a few things.
Tell your husband to find you someone that will be assisting you. https://t.co/0U3gdfdL3E pic.twitter.com/GgNigjZiD5— Ibrahim Kazeem (Content writer and SMM) (@peng_writer) January 14, 2024
Why do you think in IGBO culture after Omugwo the girl’s mother is showered with gifts and money???
You think she went there to sip Moet and eat grilled lamp chops?
Lol, please.
If you can’t help the new mother, sit your ass in your house and enjoy, simple.
— Ugegbe ✨ (@MarinatedTurks) January 15, 2024
The whole point of omugwo is to help the new mom with everything and not sit down in the living room and cross-leg watching Tv eating cashew nut. If you will not help, sit in your house.
— _Mims (@Smallmims) January 16, 2024
This is a very shitty response.
This is the reason why the best person to come do the Omugwo is the mother of the girl. She understands her needs best & would care for her better than anyone. https://t.co/LAtTgC3rF5— DON “Tobechukwu” Ade (@Row_Haastrup) January 16, 2024
Omugwo includes house chores and cooking.
If you don’t know it now you better, except it’s a situation there’s someone else available to do that.
Omugwo includes bathing the mother & in the early stage hand feeding the mother sometimes if she’s too weak.
— Ugegbe ✨ (@MarinatedTurks) January 15, 2024
Most importantly, Omugwo should be done by someone the new mother is most comfortable with.
It’s the most vulnerable period for a woman, and she shouldn’t spend it around anyone having to walk on eggshells around them ❗️❗️❗️ https://t.co/ibzlM4wfBA— Emerald Loveth (@loveth_emerald) January 15, 2024
What is the purpose of omugwo if you are not coming to help me?🤷🏽♀️😒
Pls if you can’t help stay in your house Abeg..🙏🏽I won’t hold anyone from eating or watching tv, but if you can’t assist me na there wahala go start… https://t.co/JjVMqSTtRz
— 🥀Madame De Pompadour🧚🏽♀️ (@Thonia_Aroh) January 15, 2024
