If you’re a hip hop fan, then you might remember the 2006 hit song titled Malaria, which swept through Nigeria. The beautiful lady, Sotonye Horsfall, professionally called Soty, was the artist behind that song. After her breakout hit, Soty was everywhere—performing with 2Baba, sharing stages with Akon, and taking her place among Nigeria’s rising stars. But just as her career was taking off, she disappeared from the spotlight for years. When she finally tried to return, her new songs weren’t popular and she found herself battling to reclaim her place in the music world. Soty shares with SONIA OKERE the struggles that made her to step away from the spotlight
How it started
My name is Sotonye Samuel-Horsfall, but most people know me as Soty, the ‘Malaria’ girl. I’m from Buguma, in Rivers State, and I was born and bred in Port Harcourt. Growing up, I was very passionate about music, and decided to chase it. I started by singing in church before I got the opportunity to perform on a professional stage. I was young, vibrant, and excelling. However, along the way, I made some mistakes that I still regret.
It was in 2006 when I released my first-ever hit song. When I became popular, I started receiving invitations to perform at different events. However, the first issue was that I was exploited by the first record label I worked with. Even when I released other songs, I struggled to promote them. While I was building my career, I fell pregnant and becoming a single mother wasn’t what I had planned for my life. As I got older, I wanted to get married, but most of the men I met didn’t want to settle down with a single mother.
The marriage
In 2016, I met a young man who acted sweet towards me and my child. We dated for about a year before he proposed to me. Honestly, some people warned me not to marry him, but I didn’t listen. I loved him and felt he loved me too. Moreover, I was 29 at the time and he was the only person who had ever proposed to me. So, without thinking twice, I jumped into the marriage.
While I was building my career, I fell pregnant; and becoming a single mother wasn’t what I had planned for
When I first met him, he told me he was a blogger, but it wasn’t yielding any tangible income. After we got married, I became the breadwinner. As our family grew, I started encouraging him to get a job, but he refused. Despite not working, he didn’t help with domestic chores, either. Each time I complained about his attitude, I was beaten thoroughly. I was his punching bag and one time, he pressed my head inside a bucket of water to drown me. He was so violent, but, despite the hell I was going through, I refused to leave the marriage. I was the woman who believed I could transform my spouse’s character through prayer and fasting. So, I poured my faith and hope into every prayer, yet, with each effort, his behavior only seemed to worsen.
Regarding my music career, I faced challenges that made it impossible to maintain the glamor, record new songs, or even promote the ones I’d already created. When I eventually stepped out of the spotlight, I found myself struggling to make ends meet. To support my family, I became a baker, took on various menial jobs, and sold whatever petty items I could.
The man I married told me he was a blogger. After we got married, I became the breadwinner
The endless stress left me drained, yet my ex-husband never lifted a finger to help. He wouldn’t even ask if the kids had eaten or not. In fact, he’d go out and return whenever he pleased, with no regard for us. All of this drove me into a deep depression, and there were times I felt like dying. But the love for my children kept me going and I knew they needed me to survive.
The separation
For six years, I stayed in that marriage just to save face. From being a rich and independent young woman, I became so broke. I was borrowing money from petty loan apps and buying things on credit just to feed my kids. Despite how tough things were, my ex still refused to get a job.
Fast forward to 2022: we were planning to renew our rent, so I reached out to my family members for support. They gave me a part of the rent. Since I had used my bank account to borrow money from different loan companies, I decided to deposit the money for rent in my ex-husband’s account.
I was his punching bag and one time, he pressed my head inside a bucket of water to drown me. He was so violent
He started spending the money and towards the time the rent was due, he packed his things and left the house. Since I had no other money to renew the rent, I moved in with my family members. For many months, I kept calling and begging my ex-husband to send me part of the money so I could cover our feeding expenses. However, all my pleas fell on deaf ears. He just told me that he had left us to be with a rich and younger woman.
Struggles of single parenting
Many people assume that when a woman’s marriage fails, she can simply return to her family’s home. But they overlook the subtle forms of abuse, torment, and stigma that she may face there—especially if she doesn’t have the financial means to cover her expenses. In my case, I found myself moving from my family’s house to friends’ homes, and even living in an unfinished building. Earlier this year, I moved to Abuja, hoping to find better opportunities.
Thankfully, through the generosity of others and with God’s grace, I received enough support to finally rent an apartment and a store. Over the past few months, running the business has become extremely challenging, and we rely on both the small profits and the business capital just to get by. I reached out to human rights authorities to help secure some child support from my ex-husband. He promised to send N20,000 monthly and also cover half of the kids’ school fees, but since then, I haven’t received a dime from him. He seems convinced that, whether he supports them or not, the kids will come looking for him when they’re grown. It’s heartbreaking, but I’m doing everything I can to make sure they’re cared for.
I found myself moving from my family’s house to friends’ homes, and even living in an unfinished building
In conclusion, my story might not be a typical inspiration, but I want to share a bit of advice with single women.
Don’t rush into a marriage just because you feel like time is running out. If you’re already a single mom, some men would come to deceive you but don’t settle for anything less than you deserve. And to all the mothers out there doing their best to care for their children each day, I pray we all find the strength, support, favour and breakthroughs we need.
And if you’re touched by this mother-of-three’s plight, you can help by making donations through this account:
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8138457320
Sotonye Samuel-Horsfall
