A Quora platform user asks what one attractive trait women consider as rare among men, and women responded as follows:
Ella Haines: I really, really don’t care how long your penis is. As far as preferences go I care more about girth, but even that doesn’t matter as much as your skills in bed and having a good attitude about sex – it’s about us having fun together, not you jacking off inside me. Too much length is actually a problem, ffs. So long as it’s not like 2″ long (when erect) it doesn’t matter to me.
I’ve met a lot of men who are super focused on size, but not a single woman who cares about it. Those guys don’t even listen to what women are telling them about how they don’t care, it always falls on deaf ears. I even had a guy tell me he wants a penis that’s like 2 feet long and doesn’t care if it isn’t functional anymore. I don’t get it.
I’ve also had a lot of guys try to be “nice” by actually being passive, and having me always be the one who picks where we eat, for example. God, that’s tiring. Don’t put it all on me, be an adult with your own mind and plan some stuff for yourself. Don’t just tell me “whatever you want.” Once in a while that’s cool, every time is just laziness.
Kathryn: Curiosity about women AS PEOPLE, not merely as potential sex partners. About 90% of the men I’ve met since my divorce (who asked *me* out, not the other way around) barely asked me anything about myself during our 2 or 3-hour-long first dates.
I was willing to give a handful of those men a 2nd, 3rd, or even 4th chance to prove they weren’t as self-absorbed as they seemed. But in every single one of those cases, they still talked mostly about themselves. Yet they always want to go out on another date. I guess because I’m a cheap therapist?
Men complain incessantly that women have it easy in the dating world and that we’re too picky. But why would/should any woman want to date any man who shows no apparent interest in her as a human being with her own interests, experiences, opinions, hopes, dreams, insecurities, etc?
O D: Good question! I can only speak from my own personal experience, but one attractive trait that I have found to be rare in men is quit confidence and self assurance. It is rare to find a man who is strong, with healthy boundaries but is equally empathetic, humble, self aware and is not arrogant or condescending. I often find men either tend to have a lot of arrogance and inflated self-importance, or they really struggle to be assertive or confident in themselves. It’s rare to find a man who won’t put up with bullshit, but is also kind and respectful at the same time.
Matias Şraiva: Strong emotional expressions. Being free and crazy (laughing loud, singing, dancing). Being strong when she needs to be but presenting herself vulnerable to her man.
That being said, a woman can only be like that if the man is respecting her fully. Many women build up barriers and are not so free because of bad past experiences. Only a great man can make a woman feel so free to express the things above.
Elyse Yang: Kindness. And not the simpering, desperate kindness of a “nice guy” who tags around with the girl he can’t let go of. Not the fake kindness of someone who’s trying to be sweet just so they can get in your pants. I mean the real kindness of someone who helps other people even when it doesn’t look good, even when they don’t know that anyone’s watching.
Genesis Rayz: What are the 5 most attractive traits in a man, for you as a lady?
Excellent at listening and validating me and my thoughts and feelings. If he’s not yet good at it, he’s willing to work on it. Effort is super attractive.
He puts consistent effort into giving me what I want/need and gets pleasure out of doing things that put a smile on my face. And when he can’t provide something, he tells me why and gives me an estimation of when that’s something that can/will happen, and is honest, he tells me if it’s not likely to ever happen.
He has a kind, gentle, caring, compassionate heart and puts me above everyone else. He keeps choosing me. He makes me feel special and highly valued everyday. He gives me lots and lots of physical affection (including kissing, cuddling, sex, etc) and undivided attention.
He’s not on his phone when we’re together or getting into discussions with strangers, his attention is on me and us. And he certainly isn’t giving attention to other women. Touch and Time are my top 2 love languages, so I NEED a man who can give that to me. I can’t get enough of it and it’s extremely painful/damaging to have those things denied to me.
Touch/sex is healing for me. Rejecting me in that way is like stabbing me in the heart and soul.
Loyalty. He never leaves me or cheats on me, or gives me a reason to doubt his loyalty. He makes it easy for me to trust him, he offers reassurance and communicates very well to me what’s going on in his head, his heart, and what his plans are. And of course he often speaks of “we” and not just of himself when talking of the future.
He makes and keeps his commitments with me. I need him to be reliable. I need to be able to trust that his words mean something and that I matter enough to him to follow through. And when he’s stressed or hurting, I need him to turn TOWARDS me, not away from me. Trust me that I can comfort him, allow me to be there for him by his side.
Annabelle Wallis: I like men who have worked on their ego. It is very rare (in men and women) and someone who has put in the time and effort stands miles above the rest.
Swayam: A real man’s is identity is strength and kindness. If u don’t have one of these then sorry…you ain’t a real man…and kindness is basically the strength of heart…so at the end of the day it’s still a form of strength. A good form of strength indeed.
Jan Anderson: The most attractive trait in a man to me is personality and charisma, not looks.
Dr. Samah J. M: How about be yourself? … always works for me! For what it’s worth, please keep in mind that yours truly is not a white modern feminist. I am a traditional woman, who is strong and independent but also soft and feminine. I am looking to be someone’s peace – not problem!
Kei: just be the one in between bro?? just be kind, and not aggressive or too “stupid”. always works for me. it’s not like you have to be aggressive or stupid as shit to be a man🤦🏻♂️ there’s no in between.
