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Wednesday, November 29, 2023

Five traits proving your dad is a Nigerian

Our Nigerian dads – how we love them, hardworking, industrious, and caring!

While they may not be at home with us most of the time during the day like our moms, we always look forward to spending time with them when they are off duty during the weekends.

Even though humans are different and no two persons are exactly the same, there are some similar traits and behavioral patterns that seem to be common to a large number of Nigerian fathers. Even, judging by posts on social media, one can easily tell that this is true.

Today, we visit five of the most common traits displayed by Nigerian fathers.

Automatic barbers

Growing up, our dads were our barbers. It’s almost as if that latent talent gets activated the moment they start giving birth. You walk into school on resumption week and you see all sorts of awkward hairstyles on students’ heads, especially males and you know that our Nigerian dads have been at it again.

While professional barbers would give you options of different sophisticated styles, the default hairstyle in the Nigerian dad saloon is skin cut: where every single strand of hair is scraped off. You walk into school the next Monday with your head looking like a freshly laid  egg!

‘When I was your age, I…’
If you’re a Nigerian and you can’t relate to this, then you probably need to go sneak-check your father’s passport or identity card.

Nigerian dads are such a brag that won’t let even the slightest opportunity to blow their trumpet slide. Whenever you fail to do well at a task or meet a standard, they pull out that “When I was your age, I…,” card, insinuating that they were doing better at that task or challenge when they were in your shoes.

Some people argue that our fathers do this to motivate us, which honestly makes some sense in some cases, but then, in some other cases – it doesn’t. Because, how do you explain coming first in an examination and topping the entire class, only for you to rush home to your dad with your report card, and he puts on his glasses, looks at it, and says: “This is not bad, but when I was your age I was topping the entire school, even the teachers and headmaster.

And then he adds: “You can still do better”
And then you wonder, “Do better, how?”

“I just came first, sir, do you want me to come ½ next time?’

When he never tells you ‘Sorry’
I guess the sky would fall if a Nigerian dad tells their child sorry or actually admits that they were wrong. Don’t ask me why because I don’t have the answers, too.

Some attribute it to manly pride, but then, their female counterparts – our mothers, are hardly any better either. This would have you thinking that maybe it’s a conspiracy pact against us kids that they got into when they were getting married.

A typical dad would rather go out and buy you gifts to make up for chastising you wrongly. You come home from school on a Monday afternoon still moody because your dad wrongly gave you a spanking a day before, only for him to come back from work in the evening with a brand new bicycle.

Well, that’s your sorry right there. Boy, what an apology! Whatever grudge you think you hold against your dad automatically flies out the window.

Mothers, on the other hand, would just add a lump of extra meat to your soup.
No, it wasn’t an oversight. That’s your apology right there.

Underrated cooks

Contrary to erroneous beliefs about Nigerian men lacking kitchen skills, there have been multiple proofs on social media that point to the fact that they are actually great cooks when they want to be or when they need to be.

While mothers are the queen of the kitchen, fathers have had to fill in for their wives when they are either away or indisposed. Despite the handful of comments claiming that their dads did a terrible job deputizing in the kitchen, the bulk of the comments commended their fathers for performing well, with a few even insinuating that they did better than mothers.

Giving a personal experience, I grew up with memories of my father helping out in the kitchen when he had to and the results were always delicious.

Do you share the same view or disagree? Please let us know in the comment section.

‘Go and read your book!’
Nigerian fathers have an obsession with education.
They all want their children to be doctor, lawyer, or engineer. As far as Nigerian dads are concerned, those three are the only available career choices in this world. Good luck to you if your choice falls out of those three options.

Wait…what! You’re thinking of becoming a musician? How dare you? That bunch of never-do-wells?

Or you’ve been watching too much of Rashidi Yekini and the Super Eagles and you’re now having ideas in your head? Woe betides you!

Their kids hardly ever get any breathing space with them as they won’t stop hammering at them with “Will you go and read your book, my frenn!”

It could even get worse with dads who weren’t fortunate enough to get top-level education and had their career dreams cut short. Now the kids would have to do that for them.

The tendency to want to fulfill that career ambition through their favorite child could further worsen the pressure.

Conclusion
So, those are the top five most recurrent traits peculiar to Nigerian dads, according to social media posts and comments.

Reading through this article, at least two or three of these traits should remind you of your dad. If it doesn’t then… err mmm – your dad probably owes you an explanation.

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