Lagos is famous for its commercial transport system. Rowdy, disorganized, under-regulated – say whatever you will about it and you may be right!
However, the truth remains that, as far as the business of moving people from one end to the other is concerned, Lagos commercial drivers get the job done.
Those who move around Lagos regularly in commercial buses – especially the Danfo or Molue – would attest to the fact that being inside any of them is like occupying a different world entirely.
Different types of people from different walks of life meet up on the bus, heading the same way even when destinations differ.
Today, we review Top 7 characters you’re most likely to come across in a Lagos commercial bus.
For those who know, the interiors of a Danfo or Molue guarantee hotter, sizzling gist than the entire traditional media channels combined.
From political discussions to sports reviews, juicy celebrity gossip, and even economic forecasts, you can get everything right inside a Lagos commercial bus.
Do you want to know how the Almighty came into being or how water got into the coconut? You’re more likely to find answers to your questions in a danfo than via a Google search!
Lagos is notorious for its frustrating traffic snarls. You can spend multiple hours on the road, trying to get to a destination that shouldn’t even take you half the duration.
Hawkers take advantage of the situation by displaying their wares to passengers held against their will in the long line of vehicles stuck on the road.
And because you’ll most likely get nearly anything you wish to buy right there in the traffic, some people make it their malls and marketplace where they shop for all they need.
You watch some people eat in the bus and you wonder if they have other responsibilities to handle at all. It’s almost as if they have a special budget for eating in transit!
From snacks to chops, fruits, drinks, and all types of edibles, they buy and eat it all. These insensitive gluttons oppress others in the bus with the aroma of their numerous chops and then leave the entire place littered up like the aftermath of an owanbe Saturday.
The boxing champions
Some people wake up on the wrong side of the bed and then decide to come take it out on fellow commuters. For others, it might be frustrations at work or marital challenges.
This category of people in the same space as the typical Lagos bus conductor is always a recipe for disaster because of their highly volatile persona.
When you start hearing statements like: “Do you know who I am?” “You can’t do anything!” “Who are you?” “I will lock you up,” etc., flying around, you know it’s time you disembarked.
From broken teeth to bleeding nose, split lips, and even busted skulls, the average Danfo or Molue user has probably seen it all.
Those who jump buses regularly in Lagos, especially Molue and Danfo buses, know the routine quite well.
You get into the bus, the driver moves, the conductor starts collecting fares, and right in the middle of the action, a figure in the front row stands up carrying a bag and starts displaying different types of drugs.
According to “Danfo pharma”, these miracle drugs are mostly “one size fits all” as they are said to have the ability to heal nearly all types of diseases, from minor fevers to insomnia, diabetes, AIDS, and even Ebola!
The church on wheels
You don’t have to attend your local assembly to have the church experience anymore. Nowadays, the church is brought to you right there in the bus.
Mobile evangelists in suits preaching and leading songs are a common sight in commercial buses in Lagos. Sometimes, you even have as much as half the number of passengers singing, clapping, and joining in the service, with the Danfo or Molue Pastor going as far as seeing visions and even prophesying in their lives.
As the bus draws closer to its final destination, the service also edges towards its climax, with the “Man of God’ imploring the people to give towards the growth of the ministry.
This list would never be complete without this special set of individuals.
To be fair, we all have those days when we get too tired after a long day and then doze off in the bus or take a nap.
However, what makes this special breed of people special is how they lose their home training and dignity while at it.
With the way they doze off in the bus, you’ll think they are about to replicate Emmanuel Amunike’s flying header goal for the Super Eagles against Bulgaria!
Snoring, drooling, and infringing on other people’s space, they make a nuisance of themselves to the amusement of other passengers in the bus.
Sometimes, they even sleep and get driven past their bus stop. Welcome to Lagos!