Last week was hectic — from chasing the bread to grappling with the tensions resulting from a heated polity. But, as usual, the social media masters were there to help ease the pressure with their ingenuity.
We bring you five of the most amusing ones of the lot.
Practice what you preach!
We begin today with this absolute banger from Paulina Bola Obatoke: a classic case of “do as I say, not as I do’.
It reads: “Teacher wey dey teach balanced diet vomit garri and groundnut today for class.”
This might look borderline insensitive but, imagine catching the bishop frolicking with the Reverend’s wife in an unholy hour of the day. That same person who won’t stop banging on about morality every Sunday in church. How awkward a scene would that be?
I guess that’s also how it feels, seeing your teacher who has been hammering on balanced diet vomiting garri and groundnut on the classroom floor. Poor teacher. Oops! Pun unintended.
Unusual HIV symptom
Ahem! Clears throat. You, out there, when was the last time you went for a status check? I mean an HIV status check? What are you so scared of?
Yes, you! I’m talking to you staring at the screen reading this.
If you haven’t done yours in a while, then I guess you need to go run a quick check right now because you just might be living with a time bomb ticking in your bosom.
Well, I didn’t say so. Rather, Ogbonge Doctor did in his post. He said: “One of the early signs of HIV is refusing to go for an HIV test.” Funnily not funny.
What a relief to see him end the post with an “on a lighter note” attached to the tail end.
Did I hear you go phew?
The marriage dodger
So, I came across this funny one by Chioma Nnamdi on Facebook that reads: “Another way of dodging marriage is by going for further studies.”
While the post had quite a lot of supporters laughing and affirming in its comment section, I don’t quite agree with it. Because who on earth goes to grab a Postgraduate form just to put off marriage?
Okay, let’s even say that worked, what happens when the second-degree program gets done and they’re still not interested in tying the knot? What do they do then — opt for a PhD form, too?
Sounds like an unrealistic plan in my opinion. However, some people argued that it’s a ploy used by Nigerian women to wriggle out of the grasp of aproko aunts and troublesome relatives who won’t stop throwing the “When are you getting married?” question at them.
That makes some sense but it still doesn’t quite sound like a plan to me.
Please let’s know what you feel about this in the comment section.
Thando Jane Bull
Have you ever come across a post so stupid on social media that it starts to look like Art? Well, here is one.
So, this handle @Thandocatt tweeted a photo of a chimpanzee lying peacefully in bed and captioned it: “Class starts at 9 am, Me at 8:99”
Well, first of all, you must not be tweeting from this planet because…8:99?
What time zone is that?
And, considering the fact that despite your age you still don’t know that the clock’s minute cycle ends at 0:59, shouldn’t you be taking your classes more seriously?
Even with the tons of trolling and scorn, Thando still managed to attract tens of thousands of views and engagements to her post, selling her brand and promoting herself in the process.
I guess it is true when they say the best way to stand out from the crowd is by either being the best, literally, or being the best from behind.
Operation Feed the Lawyers
The effect of the recession is being felt in every sector of the economy and no one is being spared.
Not even our “learned ones” who have been catching consecutive stray bullets for a while now on social media, especially Twitter.
A couple of weeks ago, @EbiXkapade directed a post at Nigerian parents, saying: “Stop sending children to universities to read courses that would keep them in poverty.” He then went on to reel out several courses he deems unprofitable.
Fair post, you’ll say. But, wait for it, wait for it! Another handle then replied him:
“Law should be the first on your list. That course is an organized 419. They will waste 5 years in school,1 year in law school, and another 1 year for NYSC. The worst part is they spend their entire free time watching ‘How to get away with murder,’ only to be placed on a salary of less than 100k.”
You might wanna accuse the twitterati of over-generalization, but the number of lawyers in brownish whites flocking around the High Court in Ikeja would have you thinking: ‘Hmmm, he has a point!’
And then, just a couple of days ago, one Samson Ocean shattered the table completely on Facebook when he said: “Once in a while, try to dey enter trouble, lawyers also need to put food on their table.” Absolute bonkers!
So, these are the five social media posts that piqued my interest last week.
I hope they at least helped ease the political tension that currently holds the entire nation in a choke-hold.